10 Things I Learned During Pregnancy

I could not describe my pregnancy with one word. It is definitely the happiest thing that has ever happened to me, and most of the time really exciting. And there are times that it’s frustrating and with lots of worry. But pregnancy is definitely a growing experience. And not just in the belly area. From the moment I saw that pink line on the test, my life changed forever. No pregnancy is the same, but here are some of the things I learned during pregnancy:

10 Things I learned During Pregnancy by Stella Asteria - Fashion & Lifestyle Blogger

10 Things I Learned During Pregnancy

#1 Our bodies are magnificent machines with their own high intelligence

Until I got pregnant, I was never fully satisfied with my body. There were times I had a bad day because I might had gained a little weight or because I got a couple extra centimeters around my waist. Now I learned to embrace how my body changes day by day and to love it. I feel thankful as ever for my body and for being healthy and strong enough to have another life growing inside me.

#2 Find a doctor you trust

You cannot tell if a OB is good just by having a Pap smear once a year. When I got pregnant, I realized that my doctor was all about the money, not caring where and how I feel comfortable to give birth. I had this doctor for many years and didn’t see it coming, but thankfully I found another one that I can trust and rely on.

#3 I learned to say “no” and to set boundaries

Before my pregnancy, I had a tendency to say yes, sourcing from a subconscious need to keep everyone around me happy. “Whenever/wherever you can”, were expressions you would hear very often coming from my mouth. This has changed completely. Now my priority is to keep me and my baby happy, safe and rested (fatigue is the pregnancy symptom I suffer from the most). When a friend wants to meet at a place that is not convenient for me, I don’t hesitate to say no and invite them home instead, or another place which is much easier for me. When someone is late in our appointment, I don’t stand waiting outside the place, I go do what I need to do, and they come and find me on their arrival. I am prioritizing me and my baby, our rest and well-being, and I am loving it.

I also learned how to set clear boundaries, which also wasn’t my thing. I speak up when something annoys me and I don’t hesitate to tell others how far they can go with their “advice”, belly touching etc.

#4 You will get all sorts of advice

I don’t mind at all the advice given by others when a) I am asking them for advice and b) it’s a close friend/family member. I take what is useful and ignore what’s not. However, the rest of “advice” grates on my nerves. It’s not always well-intentioned, and comes out of the blue from random people, who have always a piece of “advice” ready for any occasion.

The one I find most useless and annoying is the “get some sleep while you still can” like I can stockpile on sleep now, and when those sleepless night with the baby hit, I will be able to withdraw it or reminisce how wonderful it was to sleep.

And the most invasive one was “shouldn’t you stay in Greece now, to have your parents help you with the baby”?  No, I am an adult and I know better if I want or can have my parents helping me. How can people make such comments? If you can’t handle the growing of your child by yourself and you are used to do everything in your life with the help of your parents, it doesn’t mean I am the same!

#5 So now I am learning how to block the noise

One of the things I learned during pregnancy (and still working on it), is how to block the noise. I can only know what’s right for me and my baby, nobody else. I don’t even respond to such comments any more. This period in my life is too magical to be spoiled by anyone or anything in the world.

#6 Belly touchers exist and walk among us

I am shocked by how many people reach their hand to touch (even rub) a baby bump. Most of them are so quick and unexpected that you have no time to react! I will not analyze here how wrong this is on so many levels, but if you are one of these people, just stop it. How I deal with it? Frankly, I stopped concern myself with how polite I am. I didn’t become public property when I became pregnant. Anyone who touches me anywhere is subject to having their hand removed quickly and as firmly as necessary to get my point across. Hopefully, I’ll be the last pregnant woman they touch without permission, and I’ll have done my fellow moms-to-be a favor. It’s simple, if you didn’t put it in there or you’re not the one who’s taking it out, keep your hands to yourself.

#7 The awkward “fat” stage

There is a point in the beginning of the pregnancy where you don’t look pregnant but you don’t look like yourself either. You know you are at this point when people respond at your pregnancy announcement “I thought you gained some weight but I assumed it was from all the cheese and deserts in France” or “I thought you are, but didn’t want to ask”.

#8 People asking sympathetically “how you’re doing”

Seriously, first time in my life people ask me so much and so sympathetically this question. It’s not just a simple “how are you”; it’s laced with so much sympathy and worry just as if you have a terminal illness. I have even been told “hang in there”, “courage” etc totally with no reason at all. There’s no doubt that pregnancy can be hard, but I am just pregnant, not dying!

#9 Pregnancy isn’t a time when people are discreet

They’re all positively certain about your baby’s gender. They all know how much weight you’re going to get. You will get all sorts of comments about your body. They will just say whatever is on their mind. And this is where setting clear boundaries is important.

#10 Mommy shaming is real

Just by taking a look at a few mommy groups on Facebook, I was appalled for one more time of how women treat each other and how easily they call out each other for their parental choices. There is a right way to offer friendly advice, and that is when someone asks for it. So if you’ve got to say something, make it a kind word of solidarity or support.

Wow, that was a lot. If you made it this far, then bravo to you! I promise, not all my pregnancy/motherhood posts will be so long. 🙂 Is there anything you learned from pregnancy that I didn’t mention?

PS: It’s a boy! <3

xoxo

Stella

DRESS | BOOTS | BAG | SUNGLASSES

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69 Comments

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 09:02

      I really do, Thanks a lot Didier! Have a nice day!

  1. 23/10/2017 / 09:30

    Oh, Stella dear, I’m so sorry I was one of the belly touchers ? I have no idea how come I touched your belly as I have never done this before and I felt it was wrong the minute I touched your baby bump. But I guess it was just an impulsive act of my affection for you. Sorry again.
    By the way I’m happy to see you know how to say no when it comes to your baby. Undoubtedly you will be the best mommy your baby boy could ever wanted.
    xx Veronika

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 09:42

      Don’t worry Veronica, you are so sweet. And thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, it means a lot! xoxo

  2. Jo
    23/10/2017 / 09:40

    Wow! Stella. I read all of that with great interest. Thank you for posting your thoughts. I see I shall have to choose my words carefully. I strongly agree with a trusting Doctor. I have a lovely one now. She is Polish and is looking after me wonderfully. Oh.If anyone touched my tummy, I would give them a quick slap.
    Love, Jojo

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 09:45

      I know right? One time I had a salesperson touching my belly… from behind! Can you believe this? And a friend of my husband the moment he first met me randomly out in the street, right after handshake, he thought it was also appropriate to touch my belly too. Ew!
      PS: Will get back to your email asap 🙂
      Have a great week xoxo

      • Jo
        23/10/2017 / 10:55

        Oooh, lovely. Will look forward to it. x

  3. 23/10/2017 / 09:48

    Omg a boy!! I was going to guess boy! So exciting babe ??? also these are such good tips! Always so chic babe ?

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 11:00

      Thank you Danielle! Yes so exciting!:D

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 13:24

      Thanks a lot Quinn! xo

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 13:34

      Thank Corina, I’m so glad you enjoyed reading! 🙂 Have a great day!

  4. 23/10/2017 / 16:02

    Congratulations babe!! All the best for you and your little baby boy!
    And OMG, what a pretty mummy to be you are. You look amazing in that dress <3

    and p.s: can I please steal your Gucci boots? 😉

    xxx
    Tina
    https://styleappetite.com

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 17:04

      Anytime Tina! 😉 Thank you so much for your sweet comment! Have a nice day! x

  5. 23/10/2017 / 16:35

    This is so sweet and you’re right…our bodies are so AMAZING!!! Love this pretty sweater dress too!

    Laura
    Black Coffee Beautiful

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 17:03

      Glad you like it Laura, thanks for reading 🙂

  6. 23/10/2017 / 18:02

    I’m secretly thrilled that it is a boy (well, now that I’ve posted it on your blog, not so secretly!) since I am so happy with my little boy. There is such a special thing with a mother and son.

    As for the advice, my goodness, I also got plenty of it as well. I don’t know why people feel so compelled to stick their nose into what is VERY private business, but they do! I got very good at changing the subject mid-sentence, so they would know I wasn’t listening 🙂

    Congratulations on this VERY very exciting chapter in the life of you and Anestis. So much love to both of you. xxx

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 18:16

      I am sure you are my dear Lisa, and it means a lot to me, you are such an inspiration and example to me for your parenting skills and so much more. Alexander is such a wonderful kid and one can tell how much love he gets. Anestis loves him by the way, I show him all the photos and videos! Next time we should meet all together in Paris 😀
      As for the “advice” I really don’t get it how people feel so comfortable being invasive and giving advice in such personal and private matters, especially without being asked.
      I had a mommy-shaming attempt early this morning from a moron I barely know on Facebook, who told me I should probably rewrite my article AFTER I give birth and it will be different. She was probably offended that I wrote I intend to raise my kids without help from any parents. In Greece this is really frowned upon, and people react really bad, just because they can’t imagine somebody do it a different way! You have to fit in their box to accept you, especially when it comes to family matters. And you know so well my thoughts and feelings on this… They don’t even bother to think if a) your parents are alive b) they would c) they could help.
      Changing the subject immediately sounds a good idea. 🙂
      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and wishing you an amazing week!
      xoxo

  7. 23/10/2017 / 20:25

    Thank you for your share.

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 21:32

      Thanks for reading.

  8. 23/10/2017 / 20:26

    Congrats Stella!!! I am not a mum yet but all my friends that had babies told me almost the same things haha!! I laughed at the “how are you doing” point, I guess people find pregnancy something that it is awkward when it is truly a blessing! I intend to raise my kids without the help of my parents too (read your previous comment) and it is something my fiance and I decided to do, it is our decision but not everyone here in Cyprus agrees (same as greek families) everyone here wants to be involved and tell you how to raise them, parents, aunts, cousins that already had their babies etc, you know what I mean!!! Sending love and hugs xx

    Yiota

    • Stella Asteria
      23/10/2017 / 21:44

      Thank you Yiota! Yes we all mommies-to-be have pretty same things to deal with. I am so glad to hear we’re on the same page regarding the parents helping with kids issue, I am sure it’s pretty much the same in Cyprus! I don’t judge couples that do have help from their parents, I don’t understand why they judge me and anyone else who doesn’t want or can’t have that help from parents for their own reasons. Thanks for reading and for your thoughtful comment, always nice to hear from you! xo

  9. 23/10/2017 / 22:07

    First of all, it was really nice meeting you in real life :)! Pregnancy makes you glow and I can’t believe people just stop and touch your baby bump, that’s really wrong! And yeah, the did you get fat phase should be a little awkward, haha! Wishing you a great week ahead. xx

    Andreea,
    http://couturezilla.com/

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:40

      Yes it was so nice meeting you in Paris Andrea! 🙂 Yes the fat phase was a bit awkward, we all know how people are used to make so many scenarios when they see somebody gaining or loosing some weight! Thank you for stopping by and have a great week! xo

  10. 23/10/2017 / 22:10

    The thing that seems to annoy me the most is that everyone is an expert on giving out advice when pregnant. You can get SO MUCH contradicting advice, and also subjective advice. I don’t have any kids, but my best friend just recently had her baby, and I remember so many people telling her different things. It was overwhelming!

    -Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:38

      Yes that’s the worst. I hope she found a way to stop or eliminate it.

  11. 24/10/2017 / 00:44

    Although I am far from being a mom, this was really interesting to read. Something I’ll need to take note of. And let me just say you look soooo good!

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:35

      Thanks a lot Keri 🙂

  12. 24/10/2017 / 02:36

    Yay! Congrats on your little boy! And I LOVE reading articles like these! Ben and I are talking about starting our family in the next couple of years and I feel like people don’t talk about the FULL experience nearly enough. I want to be prepared! All the information!
    I HAVE noticed that people seem to think being pregnant gives them a pass to touch/comment on your body. NOPE! I also really liked #3, that’s something I need to do too. I honestly appreciate your realness with this topic because it’s something I’m excited/nervous for, and I genuinely enjoy hearing other people’s experiences!

    Susie

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:34

      I am so happy to hear you enjoyed reading and find my insight useful. You encourage me to share as much as I can from my motherhood journey. Yes I think so too, most people don’t talk about the full experience, probably because they are too busy giving advice. I hope you and Ben will extend your family soon and please remember that every pregnancy is as different as fingerprints! Nobody can tell you what to do and how to do it. Don’t read a lot on the internet cause there is a gazillion of opinions that will only confuse you. Find a doctor you can trust and a doula to teach you all the things you need to know and trust your instinct. At the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you and your baby! Wish you all the best 🙂

  13. 24/10/2017 / 03:59

    I heard about mommy shaming before and find it really shocking. I hope to have kids one day so it was really enlightening to read through this. I hope you’re hanging in there and you’re still rocking it when pregnant. So beautiful in this dress!

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:28

      Thank you 🙂

  14. 24/10/2017 / 05:07

    Stella,
    Congrats on your new little boy! I learned that I can’t stand being pregnant. I only enjoyed the first month of kicks and then, ugh, the rest I could do without. I felt guilty because a woman should enjoy pregnancy, right? I also learned to let go, so much is out of our hands, you just do the best you can and give birth the way you want. Whether that means you have a scheduled C-section, a vaginal birth with all the drugs, or an all natural birth at home or in the tub. What’s right for you is what is right for you, same for nursing, formula, or working afterwards. All of us women are doing the best we can, we don’t need anyone out there to shame us on top it all. Wishing you the very best!! And you look gorgeous!
    Rebecca

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:28

      I think you shouldn’t feel guilty at all Rebecca, aside from the fact that you are expecting your little one, which can’t be described in words, who would enjoy crying 20-40 extra pounds, and not being able to move or being dependent from somebody else for things like getting off the bed? Being a realist doesn’t make anyone a worse mother! 😉 There’s no doubt that all of us do the best we can so it would be nice if everyone could keep their “advice” to themselves. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for sharing your thoughts with us. Have a lovely day! <3

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:24

      Thank you Jenny!

  15. 24/10/2017 / 11:01

    I really enjoyed reading this post, I feel I am now better prepared for what’s going to happen when I’m pregnant. It’s funny how people seem to think the usual boundaries don’t apply anymore when someone is pregnant!
    All the best for you and your little boy! 🙂

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:24

      Thank you so much Magda! xo

  16. 24/10/2017 / 12:09

    wow, that’s interesting, I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ve notice how everyone gives free advice to pregnant women like they know sooo much better, and then when the baby is born everyone keeps telling you what to do, that has to be really annoying!
    have a great week,
    S

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:23

      Imagine how annoying when even somebody that hasn’t been pregnant can totally relate to this haha! Thank you for stopping by 🙂

  17. Gabrielle
    24/10/2017 / 12:45

    This was such a beautifully written post! I know very, very little about pregnancy on the whole, but so many of your points got me thinking – particularly people touching/rubbing your tummy! I’m happy to hear you found a doctor who was more mindful of your wellbeing, as well as learning to say no – I suppose you have a little one to think of when you’re pregnant, which must be the biggest incentive to not overwork yourself and become overtired! Anyway, congratulations on your little boy – SO exciting!! 🙂

    aglassofice.com
    x

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 12:49

      Hi Gabrielle! You are so right, the baby is indeed the biggest incentive to set yourself as a priority during pregnancy, since it is totally dependent on your health and well being, and setting boundaries, as well as to try to keep calm and kick the stress out (along with everyone who causes it haha). It is challenging but totally worth it 🙂 Thank you for your sweet comment, makes me smile! Have a nice day! xo

  18. 24/10/2017 / 14:33

    Oh, Stella, I nodded yes to everything you’ve mentioned here, which I too experienced during my pregnancy. I was extremely fatigued throughout much of my pregnancy. During the end of the 2nd trimester, I got a huge spark of energy, but it went right back down soon after, lol. I also had to make secessions that we’re more convenient for me to rest and not be stressed out, good for you that you’ve done this yourself. It was had for me, too. I know baby bump touchers are real, but wait until the little one actually arrives, random people will try to actually touch your baby! This has happened to many times with Aviah and thankfully I got the Milk Snob cover to put over the stroller when out, otherwise people have tried to stick their faces into the carriage and touch her, STRANGERS! Most people mean no harm and just get excited at the sight of a baby, but you of course need to protect your little one. I don’t know if Milk Snob ships intentionally, but do check them out. Lol, I also remember that ackward phase of me not looking like myself, but not looking pregnant either. I would constantly rub my belly in public so people would know that I was pregnant, lol. Thanks for sharing, beautiful; sending lots of love to you and baby!

    Xo,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 15:44

      Ah Jalisa, this is what we were discussing yesterday with my husband, that after the belly touchers, the baby touchers will come! I am sure (or at least I hope so) that most people that do this mean no harm, but don’t they have just basic manners? I mean, you don’t have to go to to a Swiss finishing school for manners to know how not to behave like pure idiot! Frankly I don’t care anymore, whoever touches me or my baby will be treated accordingly, so that he or she thinks twice before doing it again to another person. I understand that they get excited at the sight of a baby (or a baby bump) but it’s still not close to an excuse for touching as far as I’m concerned.
      I will definitely check the Milk Snob and if they don’t ship in Europe I will try to find something similar because I have a feeling I will be totally dependent on it haha!
      Thanks so much for stopping by and have an amazing week ahead! Lots of love to you and Aviah! xoxo

  19. 24/10/2017 / 16:45

    Ooo a little boy! How exciting!
    I totally agree with all of your points! I couldn’t get over the fact that people thought it was ok to touch my belly just because I was pregnant.. oh and all the (definitely not wanted) advice from strangers was the worst! People are weird when it comes to pregnancy haha
    P.S you are looking so amazing!
    x Emily
    http://shedoes.com.au

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 17:22

      Thank you darling! Haha totally weird! And if you dare to say anything you are a hormonal bitch and overreacting. Thanks for stopping by! xoxo

  20. 24/10/2017 / 18:35

    Wow! What an informative read! Thank you so much for writing these points down. Whether a person is pregnant or not, it is not okay to touch that person without permission! Thanks for these points!

    Simply,
    Jenn

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 19:07

      I am glad you feel the same way! Thanks for reading!

  21. Anestis
    24/10/2017 / 18:59

    So proud of you!!!Love you stella asteria!!! ❤️???

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 19:05

      I LOVE YOU! ❤️??

    • Stella Asteria
      24/10/2017 / 19:05

      Thank you so much Vivian, you’re so sweet! xo

  22. 24/10/2017 / 19:23

    Hello my lovely! You are doing GREAT! First, I cannot get over how stylish and stunning you look every day of this pregnancy (your inspo would have helped me tremendously through both of mine). Second, you are so wise and thoughtful, I can already tell you’re going to be an amazing mother. 🙂 I look forward to more beautiful style and thoughts on your journey. It’s an exciting adventure for sure and I wish you the best health and happiness!!

    xo Elizabeth

    • Stella Asteria
      25/10/2017 / 07:39

      Thank you so much Elizabeth! It means a lot coming from you! Have an amazing day! xoxo

    • Stella Asteria
      25/10/2017 / 07:38

      Oh yes! Glad you loved reading Merel! xo

  23. 25/10/2017 / 00:12

    Stella! You are like one of my fave blogger friends and I am so sorry I’ve disappeared for so long. I got caught up with so much going on in my life that I have missed so much with your pregnancy. So so sorry my dear, but I am so glad to see you glowing ans you move through this magical element of your life. First off you look stunning — but duh, you already knew that right?? But that aside I love how much more intelligent you have become with this new stage in your life. From embracing the magnificence in the changing of your body, to finding a doc that makes you feel comfortable is great. But my fave lesson is that you say no. It’s not just for you but you and your baby. I applaud you for not letting people waste your time and for you to know how valuable you both are. Get-it-girl!!!!

    • Stella Asteria
      25/10/2017 / 07:38

      Hello my darling Danielle! Thank you so much for your sweet and thoughtful comment, makes my day reading it first thing in the morning! 🙂 Please don’t worry at all, we all can be so busy and I know how you’ve been lately. Hope everything’s ok now! Sending love your way! xoxo

  24. Susanne
    25/10/2017 / 15:12

    Wooooowwww!!! A boy!!! Congratulations Stella!!! You knew from the start, wow, your mother instincts are already soooo good!!! Thank you for sharing all these tips! If I’ll ever be pregnant, I’ll definitely read your post again! Xx Susanne – http://bagatyou.com

    • Stella Asteria
      25/10/2017 / 20:51

      Thank you so much Susanne! Yes I don’t know how but I could feel that, I was talking to my belly as “he” from the beginning 🙂 When are you moving back to Amsterdam? Kisses! xo

  25. 25/10/2017 / 18:38

    Eek! It’s a boy! Congrats to you both. I’m so excited for you guys. I’m sure all the advice you get can be overwhelming, a lot of my friends have had the same remarks. I can’t believe mommy shamming is still happening. And I’m shocked that so many people touch your belly without asking, which is so invasive. That would make me crazy. I do not like it when people invade my personal space let alone with a baby inside. Anyhow, good for you for putting your family first and taking care of yourself. I can’t to see your little one!

    xo, Jackie
    stylemydreams.com

    • Stella Asteria
      25/10/2017 / 20:48

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment Jackie! Yes I can’t believe either the belly touching, personal space and basic manners are really important for me. Thanks for stopping by and have an amazing day! 🙂

  26. 25/10/2017 / 20:47

    You looked incredible during fashion week. I can’t believe how many people just reach out to touch other people like it’s ok. When you don’t have a baby in you, when was it ok to touch someone’s belly to begin with? lol Seriously. Unfortunately, the mommy world sounds very catty – like talking about religion – people feel the need to tell others what is right and wrong and it’s more of a lifestyle choice. You’ll be such a fantastic mom, and Anestis will be a sweet and loving dad! Your baby is going to be so super stylish too! 🙂 Miss you!

    Xo,
    Miki

    • Stella Asteria
      25/10/2017 / 20:59

      Thank you so much for your sweet and encouraging words babe! It means a lot to me especially when coming from a friend like you! I am laughing with your points, how right you are haha! Miss you too! Much love xoxo

  27. 27/10/2017 / 04:50

    Congrats to you Stella!! Completely agree that growing another human life is absolutely the most amazing thing women can do with their bodies! The belly-touching thing is so funny. I don’t even like it when my husband touches my belly so I can’t imagine how I would feel if other people started doing that. You are handling pregnancy with so much style and grace like always and I can’t wait to see pictures of your precious joy one day!

    Also thanks so much for stopping by my blog recently and leaving such a nice comment! <3

    xx

    http://www.freshfizzle.com

    • Stella Asteria
      27/10/2017 / 16:23

      Thank you as well Tania, it’s always a pleasure reading your blog! 🙂 Have a great weekend! xo

  28. Carmen
    28/10/2017 / 18:33

    Oh FINALLY I made it to read this post! Aaw congrats to your little boy, I am so happy for you and your lovely family 🙂 Those experiences all sound very honest – some more exhausting and some more amazingly beautiful. I think this is the thing about pregnancy, you go through all those stages and I am sure you learn a lot about yourself during those weeks.
    I wish you all the best for the upcoming weeks babe <3
    xx, Carmen – http://carmitive.com

    • Stella Asteria
      29/10/2017 / 08:22

      Thank you so much my sweet Carmen! Happy Sunday! x

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